She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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