Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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