with your own penis?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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