I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
