You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
