what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
