Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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