Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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