the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Your dad touched me again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
