Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no you cant smoke seaweed
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
