we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
