I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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