yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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