I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
