I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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