Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
