did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
