SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
