Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I could fuck to npr.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
