Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
