okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize