She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
