I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
