CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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