Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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