I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize