i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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