I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
