If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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