We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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