Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize