i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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