Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
