I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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