Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am available for nakedness
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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