Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
