I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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