oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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