STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
