it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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