I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
