U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
