if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
