Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize