I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
