i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
