I got chris browned last night
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
