I love black thongs
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
