"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
