then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My hand turned me down
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need to calm my uterus...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
