he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
