you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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