Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
